How to Get Your Kids to Open Up

10 Psychology-Based Conversation Starters For Kids

“Fine.” “Not really.” “I don’t remember.”

Trying to get kids and teens to open up can make us feel like dentists pulling teeth.  We're tempted to barrage them with questions – How was your day?  What are you thinking about?  How do you feel about ____?

School includes a ton of stimuli - kids talking, laughing, math, reading, writing, lunch, lines, teachers, names, bells, playground, on and on. "How was your day?" is almost too big of a question.

The good news, though, is that you can jump-start the conversation again.

Specific questions like “What was the best thing about school today?” “Do the kids at school ever talk about boyfriends and girlfriends?” “Who did you sit with at lunch today?” will get you a lot further than “How was school today?”

If "fine" is still the inevitable answer to any query about school or activities, try some of these open-ended questions.

10 psychology-based ways to get kids to open up

1. If a genie gave you three wishes right now, what would they be? And if the genie could erase three things that really worry you, what would those be?
   

2. Hey, if you were interviewed by a reporter, what would you tell him are the best things about fifth class? And the worst?
   

3. It seems like you’re upset. Do you want me to try to guess what’s bothering you? Then tell me if I'm hot or cold.
   

4. What qualities do you have that make you a good friend to others?
   

5. If you could play any musical instrument, what would it be, and why? Or if you could travel to any country in the world, what country would it be, and why?
   

6. What is the best thing that happened to you during your entire day?​​
   

7. What is your favourite day of the entire year?
   

8. If you could be transported into a book, movie, or video game, what would you choose? Why?
   

9. If you could grow up to be famous for something, what would you want to be famous for?
   

10. If you could make one rule that everyone in the world had to follow, what would that rule be?

For some children, direct conversation can be hard, especially when it’s about something they find hard to talk about. Talking during a walk or a car journey, or in the dark, can feel much less intense as less eye contact is required.

This same principle applies during any form of activity: crafts, LEGO, baking, gardening, etc. These are all great times to get kids talking. Sitting side by side rather than opposite each other can also help.

In the end, the best way to get “on the same wavelength” with a child may not be to try to get him to open up at all. Instead, try playing a game together. The shared enjoyment, mutual eye gaze, and shared attention to a task can help your brains sync up much faster than any forced “conversation” ever would.

If you need further help, maybe family/group therapy would work for you. This type of talk therapy focuses on improving communication, solving family/group problems, understanding and handling special family/group situations, and creating a better functioning environment.

If you’d like to learn more or book an appointment, call 01-5563335, WhatsApp 089-2300366, or book through the link below.

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